S3 Episode 9: Why the First 90 Days can Shape a Lifetime - Brain Boosting Truths for New Parents with Bright Minds Neurodevelopment

Welcome

If you’ve ever wondered why your baby hates tummy time, startles at every sound, or feels “floppy” in your arms — this episode is for you.

Because the truth is, those tiny movements in the first 90 days of life are doing far more than we think. They’re wiring your baby’s brain for a lifetime of learning, focus, and emotional connection. 

I sit down with Brandon Kingston, functional neurologist and founder of Bright Minds Neurodevelopment, to uncover the extraordinary science — and simple daily practices — that shape your child’s brain and nervous system from birth.

If you’re an expectant parent, new parent, or simply want to understand how to build your baby’s brain the natural way — this conversation is pure gold. 

Episode Summary

Brandon and I dive deep into the miraculous first 90 days and how sensory input, movement, and connection lay the foundation for lifelong learning and behaviour.

Brandon explains why those first three months are the fastest period of brain growth we’ll ever experience, how primitive reflexes build the foundations for attention, emotional regulation, and even eating habits, and why modern parenting habits may be quietly rewiring development in the wrong direction.

And perhaps most importantly, we remind parents that they are enough.
Because the greatest “neurotherapy” any child can receive is a calm, connected caregiver.

Key Takeaways

• The first 90 days of life are the most critical for brain development.
• Primitive reflexes (like rooting, Moro, and ATNR) are essential milestones that build circuits for attention, regulation, and learning.
• Tummy time, skin-to-skin contact, and eye-to-eye play are the most effective “brain-building exercises” you can do.
• Avoid prolonged bouncer use, constant swaddling, and early screen exposure — these restrict natural movement and sensory development.
• A calm, regulated parent is a child’s greatest teacher — your nervous system sets the tone for theirs.

Resources

Bright Minds Website

Free Guide

Transcript

Lucia Silver (00:00)
So today's guest is someone whose work every parent needs to hear, especially in those critical first 90 days of life when the brain is growing probably faster than it ever will again. Brandon Kingston is a specialist in functional neurology and infant brain development and the founder of Bright Minds Neurodevelopment in Moray, Utah. With deep expertise in primitive reflexes, trauma recovery, ADHD and early childhood

childhood

milestones, Brandon has become a lifeline for families who want to understand what's really going on behind the scenes and in their baby's nervous system.

But here's what makes him different. Brandon doesn't just explain the science. He shows you what to do about it. He takes complex neuroscience and translates it into the kind of practical brain building steps any parent can use right away. And that's what we're all about at the Brain Health Movement. I in fact came across Brandon through his fantastic Instagram account, which is full of, hey, why are we doing this exercise? This is why, this is what you need to do. And these are the results you can find.

So that's the kind of really simple one plus one equals two we need in this busy world. And listen, in a world where we're drowning in gadgets and disconnected from...

our baby's basic needs, Brandon brings us back to simple things, to what matters most. Movement, connection, sensory safety, and the everyday experiences that shape your child's future ability to focus, learn, feel safe in their body, and emotionally connect with others. So who doesn't want all of that for our children, right? So if you've ever wondered why your baby hates tummy time, or maybe what those

jerky movements mean or whether you're doing enough then this episode is for you. So we've entitled this Why the first 90 days can shape a lifetime brain boosting truths for new parents. Welcome Brandon we're so thrilled to have you today.

Brandon (02:13)
I'm thrilled to be here, Lucia. Thank you so much.

Lucia Silver (02:16)
So why don't we start, Brandon, with kind of what we call the incredible brain boom from zero to three months. We want to help parents realize the urgency and opportunity of this window, right? So most parents don't realize just how much the brain's doing in this first 90 days. So would you be okay to walk us through just how dramatic this period is and how important it is?

Brandon (02:40)
Yes, of course. In fact, the first 90 days are arguably the most critical time, right? I mean, you talk about brain volume and different things. The first 90 days, your brain is growing at a volume of a 1 % increase every single day. And then it's almost right after that 90 day mark, it decreases to 0.4 % in volume increase, and then it just gets lower. So meaning our brain is growing faster, the fastest at those first 90 days of life.

And the question is, well, why is it doing that? Why is it growing so fast that time? It's because it's laying the foundation for every circuit for the rest of their life.

it's absolutely critical that that first 90 days, they have sensory input and that they get that stimulation, different things to help build. Essentially, we're building a foundation for the rest of their life and how they're going to function behavior academically in every way. ⁓

Those first 90 days are arguably, and I tell parents, they're the most critical. So you need to start doing things at that time now. I have parents coming in all the time, they're saying, I didn't think I had to do anything for the first three months. They just sleep and eat, that's all they do. And you say, there's so much you need to make sure they're doing. And it's easy things, but yeah, first 90 days are very critical. That's what it's all about.

Lucia Silver (04:00)
And kind of scary because that's not part of our education. know, whether we're in our sort of antenatal clinics or whether we're going to what we call in the UK, the NCT classes, you we just, we don't hear this stuff. kind of, when I say to your average mom, what do you think your baby needs or their brain needs? They kind of go, food? Food?

Brandon (04:05)
Exactly.

Yeah,

exactly. Food and sleep.

Lucia Silver (04:22)
breathing, but you know, there is a real, there's a real massive

gap in knowledge, right? And I include myself in that. I thought I was doing it all right. I had no idea the importance of movement and sensory input. So, so Brandon, what's happening in this brain body connection during this period that sets the stage? Because it sets the stage for emotional regulation, attention and learning and all those things later on. They're not important per se at this stage, but they will have a repercussion later on, right?

Brandon (04:46)
Thank

Right, yeah, so.

One of the things that's happening is the brain stem. It's the area part of the brain. It's called the brain stem. It is the foundation of building every circuit in the brain.

there's something called primitive reflexes. And we'll talk about that. know if we want to dive into that right now. But primitive reflexes are essentially reflexes that babies have that we all have to survive. In fact, when you think about a baby, when a baby's born, what can a baby do on their own?

essentially. They're completely subject to their reflexive action to the world. You touch a baby's hand, they close their hand. That's called the palmar reflex. You touch a baby's face, they turn over for feeding. That's the rooting reflex. They're not in control of those movements, but when they make that movement of turning the head or holding, grasping in their palm, when they make that movement, there is a sensory input that goes back into their brain and tells them and they

become aware and say, I am aware of this part of my body now, slightly, and then they slowly start to become more in control of it as it integrates into the higher areas of the brain, the cerebellum and basic ganglia. It slowly integrates and from there, you start to build the circuits for emotional regulation, social connection, and being able to have a connection with the mom and everything.

Lucia Silver (06:13)
So what we're really saying, Brandon, is that the primitive reflexes are kind of the baby's first wiring system. And we talk about it a lot further down the line as a way of constantly measuring or using the primitive reflexes as a barometer of how...

development is going. So it's a constant thing. It's not a, know, they're there, they go, that's it. There is a certain flexibility around it. But to cut back to babies specifically, which are the key reflexes we need to be looking out for, particularly in those first three months, the three month window?

Brandon (06:44)
Yeah.

Yeah, so there's a couple of them. So first you got the rooting, you got the rooting, you got the Palmer, you got the Merot reflex, the spinal gallant, and the AT &R. So that's like five reflexes out of the 10 to 13 that are out there. Those first five that are coming up and developing and starting to integrate are critical for things specific later on in life. fact, real quick side note here, these reflexes, when they don't integrate, you won't notice the

symptoms of them not integrating until the child is four years old or five years old or six years old. That's why it's so critical at this zero to three month stage, the first 90 days, that we stimulate them and integrate them because they will be the foundation blocks for those things like ADHD, emotional regulation, picky eating. In fact, babies specifically with the Moreau reflex. Moreau reflex is a startle reflex. And when I see a baby come in to our office who

one years old and they have this startled response they're so scared of this fear paralysis and marot reflex they're so scared of any new individual and they just jump and they're holding onto mom they start screaming if anyone tries to get him or even touch him or say hi or whatever and these kids I tell them on okay we need to integrate this marot now or else

three months down the road or four months down the road, they're going to be a picky eater because that Moreau reflex is the same circuit that builds our eating behaviors and our sensitivity to eating textures. so sure enough, mom came back five months later and says, he's a picky eater now. We didn't do it. And it happens all the time. So there's a couple of reflexes, but yeah.

Lucia Silver (08:25)
Interesting.

But Brandon, talk us through that one, because we hear a lot about, you know, AT &R being related to reading and attention, and we hear a lot about spinal gallant being related to wriggling and not sitting still or even bed wetting. That's a new one for our audience who have followed all of our podcasts. How does Mereau literally relate to picky eating? Talk us through the brain development from kind of A to Z. Why does that happen in terms of the development of sensory input? What's happening in the system or not happening in the system as the case may be?

Brandon (08:56)
Yeah.

Yeah, so the Merot reflex is essentially a startle response. so when a baby,

the babies have it when they are born to help them regulate to so loud noises or anything. If it's super loud, they get this response, they lift their hands up and they respond to the world. It's to help them respond to their environment, right? And so babies who are under a lot of loud noises, especially for the first zero to three months, it's going to be very high.

hyperactive reflex. Now in their brain, diving into their brain, if they have this startle response happening always, they're going to be sensitive. So this is the base sensation that's going to build sensation to everything. So what's happening in their brain is going to say, okay, we're going to be hypersensitive to every kind of sensory input after this.

Lucia Silver (09:45)
⁓ got you. So

it's a hypersensitized system generally. And this is, is this part of what we talk about with when the whole system enters into sympathetic dominance, everything is having a fear, fight flight response. Everything's over rigged. Yeah.

Brandon (09:49)
Exactly.

Exactly.

Exactly.

They just stay in that fight and flight mode and a lot of times moms or babies with this Moreau reflex I find that the mom had a very stressful pregnancy is why they have it

but I do notice that

Lucia Silver (10:11)
Well, we do often see, yeah,

and we often see this mirroring, don't we? mean, when a child has a morrow reflex retained, quite often the mother does as well, right? So we see parallel situations, or you could argue that if a little child is not able, and we talk a lot, I know you guys look at vagal tone, and you look at ⁓ other ways of creating or co-regulating, you know, if a mother is...

Brandon (10:21)
Exactly.

Lucia Silver (10:39)
colloquially speaking, unrelaxed, let's just say her nervous system is dysregulated. She's not able to co-regulate for her child. And what we teach a lot, the brain health movement, is that we need to borrow our parents or our chief carers nervous system, right? Because it's not developed fully. The prefrontal cortex, the ability to self-regulate is what, 26 years old? It's kind of, yeah.

Brandon (11:03)
Yeah, suddenly it's going up, yeah,

26, 27.

Lucia Silver (11:07)
Yes, it's

a long time you're kind of relying on people around you. So you can imagine how critical that is in this period that you're talking about, nought to three months, right? A baby is, where's it gonna get that calm from if it's not coming from mom? So we talk a lot about how, and hopefully you see moms and dads too, right? You'd have a look at them and help them along. It's not just the baby.

Brandon (11:28)
Yeah.

Yeah. In fact, one of the beautiful thing about life is the thing that happens is I say, do skin to skin contact with your baby, put the baby on. And there's a, there's a beautiful thing that happens where the heart will actually start to sink between the mom and the baby. There's studies showing it. The hearts will start to sink and they will both regulate each other that way through the skin to skin contact. I think that's just an amazing, beautiful thing.

Lucia Silver (11:50)
It is an amazing thing. This

shows what happens when we just get out the way and let nature do what it intended, you know?

Brandon (11:58)
Exactly,

exactly.

Lucia Silver (11:59)
So

those milestones, you know, they really matter. If we're calling, you know, primitive reflex integration an important milestone, this is something that parents really need to look out for, right? So we want to empower parents to know what's important, not to scare the living daylights out of them, but just to try and kind of... So what are some of the critical milestones? Because what you've sort of indicated, Brandon, is that you won't necessarily see the symptoms until way later of these primitive reflexes. So you don't really want to be

Brandon (12:16)
Right.

Yes.

Lucia Silver (12:29)
looking out for the negative symptoms because hopefully you're not going to see them if you've heard this soon enough. But there's no point waiting for the negative outfall of the problem. We need to understand what we're looking for now. So what critical milestones do we want to see by three months?

Brandon (12:32)
you

I'm out of

Right.

So we're talking about a zero to three month old baby. This is a little

And so a couple of things you're looking for, you're looking for head lifting. want by three months, you want them to be able to lift their head, be on their tummy, lift their head and be able to turn their head around and respond to their environment sound, right? You want them to be able to turn or they don't have to face it directly. We're talking about a little baby. They don't have to like go look at

directly where the sound came from, but you say you play just a quick noise and they flinch, they're responding to it, right? You wanna make sure they can hear. ⁓ One thing you also wanna look for is ⁓ smiling. Your baby should actually smile a little bit by three months, Especially in, in fact, not even necessarily in response, but ideally in response to the caregiver, the mother or the father.

Lucia Silver (13:17)
Yeah.

Brandon (13:32)
sitting there. And then obviously you want their hands to open and close, start to open up and close up. And then their, ⁓ rudory flex, you want them to also respond to that, ⁓ stimulation to the trigeminal nerve in their face, right? You want them to be able to turn over. That's part of the rudory flex. And so real basic things and, and also tracking, tracking things with their eyes, babies, zero, zero, three months. Again, this is a little baby. They don't have to like be holding their heads still and tracking the pen back and forth, like staying on it. But you want them to kind of see that they're

Lucia Silver (13:56)
Yeah.

Brandon (14:02)
watching something. They are aware that there's something in front of them that they're watching.

Lucia Silver (14:07)
Yeah,

so what if you were kind of moving in front of them a little bit, you kind of want to see some eye movement there maybe or yeah.

Brandon (14:12)
Yeah, and for babies

what happens most often is they'll be laying down, especially zero to three months, they'll be laying there and you'll turn over and they'll take a lag and they'll look right off. Then you go the other way and they'll lag and they'll look. But that's what you want. That's what you want to see. And that's really it.

Lucia Silver (14:22)
Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm listening to you thinking, again, why don't we get a piece of paper saying this? Just like, you know, why don't we leave with these milestones? I know the CDC has shifted the milestones considerably, which is freaking out all of us in the industry who are trying to say, no, no, no, we want less flexibility in this area. I use an example and I'm sorry for any of our listeners who have heard this before, but I do think it's a really good analogy is like you wouldn't take your dog into the vet. And if it had like a

Brandon (14:34)
Thank

Yeah.

Yeah.

Lucia Silver (14:59)
back right leg not working the vet go that's just individual give that another six months and it'll sort itself out you expect when you take your puppy to the vet that they're all gonna stop nursing at this this time they're all gonna be you know they come out able to do a lot more than human beings are quicker we know with animals but they still have a very tight trajectory for each of their stages in development but for some reason in the arrogance of humans

decided that we're going to give that window for crawling we're going to make that we've now made it like nine or ten months longer and that window for speaking it shouldn't be the case right it's not a particularly individual journey there's a little bit of flexibility there but what are your views on that Brandon?

Brandon (15:47)
Yeah, no, it's a it's a hot topic for me it drives me nuts I say why why would you do that? There's no reason to do that other than to mess with people's thinking and they think things are normal now like They're crying. I don't have the numbers in front of me what they change it to but it's ridiculous number They don't even consider crawling a milestone anymore. They say they don't need a crawl and I'm like

Lucia Silver (15:51)
Yeah.

Yeah, you don't have to crawl. Yeah.

Brandon (16:09)
That's

Lucia Silver (16:09)
Wow.

Brandon (16:10)
awful. That's going to set them back years, for the rest of their life actually, if they'd never crawled and they'd never integrated those things. ⁓

Lucia Silver (16:14)
Yeah.

And

I have seen so much research and I don't know what the problem is if this research isn't seen as robust enough, but I've seen research circulating all around that about 80 % of dyslexic children didn't crawl. A huge proportion. So even if you said, ⁓ 50 % of that's nonsense, you're still left with 40 % of children who have dyslexia didn't crawl. There's got to be some indication there of some correlation.

Brandon (16:30)
Mm-hmm.

Exactly.

Exactly and that's exactly what it is and

I get in my head about it of are they doing it on purpose or is it just such a normalized thing now? That they're just don't know what to do so they just say okay This is the new normal because it's so common right and I yeah, I just it's not good. It's not good I tell parents don't listen ⁓

Lucia Silver (16:49)
Go for it.

Yeah,

they're very, very important paradigm shifts to make and they affect the way we are all thinking and raising our children. So it should come with huge accountability. If you think how...

other things change in the system. They have to go through rounds and rounds and rounds of research, rounds, you know, before they can possibly be shared in the public arena. And for some reason, feels like someone in a room went, do you know what? There's so many kids not crawling. Let's make that define the new parameter for crawling rather than saying, why are children not crawling when for years and years and years and years they did crawl? It's the wrong answer to the wrong question.

Brandon (17:34)
Yeah.

Exactly.

Exactly. It's like taking ⁓ a stay or a classroom, whatever, and say, okay, the kids, they only got to this score. They scored 50 % of the test was the highest score someone got. And so, that's the new 100%. We don't care to figure out what's going on and teach them. Except for this is worse than that because it's gonna have a lifelong effect, right? It's gonna last forever. there, Yeah.

Lucia Silver (18:00)
Yeah, yeah. Exactly.

100 %

or we made a joke the other day where there's so many children with developmental issues in the classroom why don't we start changing the curriculum and writing B the wrong way round on the board so that the majority of the class can understand what you meant by the letter B it's the same idea right you don't you don't change no

Brandon (18:24)
You don't change it just because there's something

needs to be worked on.

Lucia Silver (18:31)
Yeah,

so going back to these root causes and addressing these red flags. So you've just given us some really helpful things to look out for. They're headlifting, tracking, social smile, opening hands, responding to sound. So what are some red flags then that a baby might need extra support? Is it literally they're not doing any of the following? yeah.

Brandon (18:52)
Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, quite literally not doing any of those things, not tracking objects and all that. A couple things too is if they're not even attempting to lift their head, so if they're on their tummy and they're not even attempting, or they're really fussy on their tummy and they're really struggling to do that and you put them on their tummy and they're kind of screaming and fussing around, you turn them back, they're okay. So you don't want that, you kind of want to work with them in doing that. One thing too though is muscle tone. If they're really floppy and they have low muscle tone and they're

just kind of flopping around like I mean babies are we're talking about a little baby right and they are going to be like that the first couple of weeks even but by three months they should have some kind of muscle tone where you can feel the the building or the stiffness of them where they're starting to build their strength right and we shouldn't lift their arm and it flops at three months you lift their arm and just completely flops down and they should have some kind of control and response to it right

Lucia Silver (19:28)
Yeah.

Yeah

and would you be feeling, would it be a feeling from mum who's sitting here now going my baby feels floppy what do we mean? Is it like a tension sort of, it's what you would feel if a muscle became engaged in order to hold itself up so holding an arm up, holding a head up, you're looking for some self-sustained strength.

Brandon (20:07)
Exactly.

Exactly, that's exactly right. fact, so lift, holding the baby, ⁓ and they, you go down, their arms just kind of flop to the ground. It's kind like with a startle response. When they're startled, they tense up and you can feel it in them. And that's part of what the Miro reflex is for, is to help build that muscle tone. But if they're not getting it right, then that's the problem.

Lucia Silver (20:22)
Yes.

build that. Yeah.

And if they're not, so let's start talking about how we equip parents with some both calming, connecting and strengthening exercises. So some of these daily practices, but let's start with that one. So your child is floppy. What do you suggest doing?

Brandon (20:44)
Okay, yeah, so here's what you do for babies. Zero to three months. It's real easy, real simple. Just, and I tell parents, play with your baby. Hold their hands, hold their feet, move them around, talk to them, smile, laugh, say their name, make eye contact, move their arms around, just play with them at least five minutes a day. mean, more than that, obviously. But at least five minutes a day, just play with them. Massage their back, massage their arms, and literally just hold their hands.

put your thumbs in their hands and then move their arms back and forth like they're at a party and you know have a little dance party. Just play with the babies, cutest thing. I mean people play with their babies ⁓ but we need to do that more and we need to make eye contact with them while we're doing it and talk to them and it's literally building their whole foundation of first of all social connection, connecting with mom but it's also setting the stage for behavior and muscle tone and all these reflexes that are going

to integrate which which sets the stage for everything else right

Lucia Silver (21:47)
And also that

during this time, Brandon, I'm thinking of, you when we've talked about sort of hemispheric development, this is the time up until three years where the right hemisphere is developing. So the left side, this idea of say your name, recite your numbers, do your times table, whatever crazy things nurseries are trying to get kids to do at age one. You know, it's the right brain that's on online. We're growing this social connection, aren't we? We're growing an understanding of ourself in relation to our environment. We're building. Yeah, it's that's

most of the sensory input is super important that's all we want during this time is lots of input right

Brandon (22:23)
you

Exactly. Even just making eye contact with your baby is stimulating the right hemisphere. they're learning and studies show right now even that different facial expressions will literally change circuitry in a baby. So if we're frowning and babies learn different expressions through our expressions, right? They mimic through these mirror neurons and that builds the foundation for them to express, right? So when we're changing a baby, usually mom is like, ⁓ this is not looking good. This isn't kind of nasty or whatever. And the baby sees that and they respond. They literally do. They respond to it.

Lucia Silver (22:43)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Brandon (22:54)
and they feel a sense of shame. Studies show it. The babies feel a sense of shame. And they frown. And I say, is it okay? Is it bad? It's okay, but make sure after you're done, at least smile and say, good job, you did it. Yeah.

Lucia Silver (23:07)
Good job, good poos, good poos, good smelly poos, but good, yeah. You're still loved, yeah. And actually it

speaks to the crazy uncle who comes along with all those crazy faces. We actually need those crazy faces and those crazy voices.

Brandon (23:21)
Exactly.

Yeah, babies respond that they learn that way. And we talk about the right hemisphere developing faster and building that the right hemisphere is literally for like you said, the first three years of life. It's all it wants to do is connect and engage with the world and build these connections and keep us safe and all those things. And so that's what we should be doing with our kids, our babies. So

Set this stage at zero to three months and you're going to have like your

chances of everything else are going to be way higher of everything just excelling academically and everything.

Lucia Silver (23:54)
Amazing. And again, tummy time. I remember tummy time being said to me as a mum and just thinking, that's just when you put your baby on their tummy. That is literally what I understood of it. I had no idea that that's, you know, building those, integrating those reflexes, building the postural muscles, you know, enabling that muscle network to begin and getting that feedback. But just talk about tummy time for us a minute.

Brandon (24:18)
Yeah,

so tummy time, ⁓ you can spend a whole episode on tummy time alone. Tummy time, you're building core, you're building the posture muscles, you are priming the brain for the integration of the primitive reflexes. Tummy time is the first thing a baby learns to do where they can actually kind of control it, right? Everything is reflexive, but tummy time and their eye movements. tummy time helps build that eye coordination, hand-eye coordination. It helps them, ⁓

Lucia Silver (24:22)
Yeah. ⁓

Brandon (24:48)
and if I dive into the brain,

This tummy time is priming the next stage of development to show where to integrate to, right, at that certain time. And so, okay, this spinal, spinal gout reflex, you're gonna integrate through these circuits, you're gonna help control the fidgetiness, you're gonna, and regulation, AT &R, you're gonna go into this one, that's gonna help do, or Merot is gonna help with regulation and everything, and food sensitivity and all that stuff. And so tummy time.

is arguably the most, and that's why everyone talks about it, because it is so critical and important. It's that first step of, it's the first milestone that babies do and that they need to be able to do.

Lucia Silver (25:26)
And so, Brandon, what do we do if babies resist tummy time?

Brandon (25:30)
Yeah, so babies are resistant. A couple things, this is what I tell moms to try first. say, okay, here's what you're do. Skin to skin contact. Get the baby on you and you get in a rocking chair and start rocking on their tummy, And then slowly get, lean back more to the point where you can lay down on your bed or on the ground with your baby on you. Skin to skin, so, because skin to skin contact, we've heard of kangaroo care and all that. Skin to skin contact keeps them feeling safe. They feel so safe against you.

The heart rhythms start to sink and it's beautiful but it gets in that safe place and then the mom lays down on their bed with the baby on him and It kind of builds that slowly now if that still doesn't work What you can do is I have parents put a mirror in front of a wall It is for a zero to three month baby, right? Put a mirror in front of the wall and stick them on their tummy and kind of distract them and show them that there's something here and they see some and you can do little ⁓ Colors or sensory toys black and white usually what you do and you kind of

to get them distracted while they're in the tummy and you just take it one minute, one second at a time. Today they only can do 10 seconds. Tomorrow we're gonna do 20 seconds, 25 seconds, 30 seconds, right? And you're just building that up for them.

Now ⁓ if there's a gut issue and they keep throwing up and things like that are vomiting, they're spitting up, then these babies, there could be something going on that needs to be addressed with the formula, if they're nursing or anything like that. ⁓ You just want to make sure that there's not a gut problem with them, right? Which is tied to the Morrill reflex as well, but that's a whole nother story.

Lucia Silver (27:02)
All

So look out for other things that may actually be causing the problem. Yeah, if the tummy's unsettled. But I love that idea of being able to rock with the baby. I mean, it's a brilliant idea because you've created the safe environment in which to do it. I mean, I would imagine...

We can be quite reductive at this age, which is the beautiful thing. There are only going to be a few things that are causing an obstruction at this stage and if it's to do with being overstimulated or uncomfortable in the environment, then bringing them close to mama makes it safe. If they're uncomfortable in their bodies, then it's likely, highly likely to be something in the tummy, you know. So those things obviously need to be addressed and they can be directed back to your primary care provider.

if that is the case. But really what we're saying is these things that we're looking out for and these things that we're expecting are all very, very normal, aren't they, Brandon? We're not sort of this is not this is not radical stuff here. This is what when we lived way back and we were in a tribal environment and we were out in the wild, the kids would have simply been climbing around as even two, three months or they would have just been on the ground and just shuffling around in the dirt and looking around at the tiger that comes over.

Brandon (28:16)
you

Lucia Silver (28:18)
flex when it come in as it needed. This is all very natural stuff, isn't it?

Brandon (28:22)
Exactly,

exactly. It's all natural. It's all supposed to be natural. I mean today's world environment, it's almost hard to get this natural stimulation out.

Lucia Silver (28:31)
Yeah, so which brings

us on to this modern world. And this is one of the reasons we're in this predicament, right, Brandon? I mean, this has not been intentionally done with parents. This is sort socioeconomically driven. This is a lack of time. This is tech coming in. This is... ⁓

environmental toxins, all the stuff that we talk about on our courses that I know that you educate your parents on as well. But we really mustn't normalise these changes. We need to be aware of the impact it's actually having on our children's development. And instead of just making it, as you said, the new normal, we need to guide parents with gentle and effective solutions. Well, first of all, with awareness to prevent it happening in the first place, right, which is why we're doing this podcast for the Liddlies. So

Let's talk about some of the things that...

We've been kind of suggested, might be time-saving or might be, but actually a really detrimental. I'm gonna lead with one because I was told this and it's not on my initial list to talk to you about, but I'm sure you hear about it. It's swaddling, right? So wrapping a baby up from the beginning to keep it safe, to keep it warm, to keep it from rolling around, which is actually precisely what we want them to be doing, to talk to us about the ramifications of just swaddling

Brandon (29:46)
Yeah.

Lucia Silver (29:50)
your child, your baby.

Brandon (29:51)
Yeah.

⁓

I'm glad you're bringing that one up so swaddling you got to be careful with it, You don't want to constrict movement entirely

if the baby's having a tantrum and they're they're really fussing. They're just upset They're tired their honoree swallow them up get a nice and comfortable and hold them They'll fall asleep within a couple minutes right now swaddling though to just have them like that always is No good do not constrict

their movement and don't leave them on their backs laying there doing nothing. fact, the thing that comes up for me a lot is bouncers. Moms will come in and they'll say, I go to work and I put baby in a bounce room and he or she just watches me work all day. And my how old were they? we did that for the first six months. No, you can't do that. We can't do that. Bouncers are OK. ⁓ But even then, you got to be so careful. Do not leave them in the bouncer.

swaddling is good swaddling is good as long as you're using at the right time for the right purpose Right we can't it what it does is it helps them feel safe in fact There's studies showing swaddling different things will mimic It'll help the baby feel like that. They're in the womb, so it's mimicking the sensation of being in the womb Which is good to help them feel safe and get them calm down, so if I have a baby I'm working on

and they're kind of crying and fussing a lot and I'm trying to integrate them row, I'm not gonna get anywhere until they're at a rest of state and getting out of that sympathetic ⁓ nervous system. And so we'll swaddle them and they'll get calmed down and nice and safe and we'll pull them out and then they'll let us work with them, right?

entirely.

Lucia Silver (31:29)
Yeah, I mean,

it's use it to calm down and then take them out. It's not put them in it and then send them to sleep and leave them there or leave them there for their afternoon nap all afternoon. But the point is we need movement as much as possible once the system is calm. Yeah.

Brandon (31:40)
Yeah.

Exactly.

And real quick on that bouncer, I just want to bring this up because I want people to know about this. On bouncers, when your baby is in a bouncer and they're rocking back and forth, they are learning to regulate that way. And they're looking to regulate. That is not good. They should be learning to regulate with mama, with the caregiver. That rocking should be happening with mama, with that skin-to-skin contact. And when they regulate with mom, they're associating, okay, I can regulate with mom, not.

I'm gonna go in this bouncer and regulate so that when they get older and this is zero three months But when they get older then they'll associate okay, I I got hurt outside or I did this I need to go to mom to help me figure out what to do to help me regulate right It's an unconscious thing whereas if they're in a bouncer to regulate growing up zero three months especially Then they'll get hurt outside and they'll just they'll just lose their mind. They won't know what to do They won't even that's what I think I need to go to mama

Lucia Silver (32:30)
Mm.

Yeah.

Brandon (32:42)
That's the thing, I want people to be aware of bouncers. Don't leave them in there.

Lucia Silver (32:47)
Yeah

and swings and car seats, Brandon, it's another one you know we ⁓

I know is a busy mum for me. I thought, better that Quinn's with me. I mean, listen, it was the lesser of two evils as a single mum. wanted him to kind of stay with me, be with me. So I kind of take the car seat and carry him round in the car seat so he could be with me. Better that than probably sticking him in a bouncer. But better still would have been in an ideal world, put him on the floor and let him run around. That wasn't an option to me. But the point being, we're putting them in containers a lot, aren't we, of one form or another.

Brandon (33:04)
Yeah.

Yeah

Yeah.

And I'm guilty of it too. So if we need to put like, I put my kids in a bouncer car seat. I don't leave them in there. I try not to leave them there. But when they're in there to make that much of a difference. I say, and mom said, man, I cannot survive without my bouncer. What am I? Like I need to put them in somewhere. Put them in the bouncer or preferably put them on the ground on their tummy. If they'll let you and let them just kind of play around and move around.

But if you need to put them in the bouncer for whatever reason, put them in the bouncer and then talk to them. Have them play with them, move them still. Make sure they're engaged with a person as they are in that bouncing, regulating state, or swinging state. That's literally integrating, when they bounce and swing like that, it's integrating that moreau reflex for them, which is how they regulate. ⁓ And so anyways, just at least talk to them or get someone, not someone, I would have the caregiver talk to them and play with them.

Lucia Silver (34:14)
Yeah, hey you, can you

talk to my kid? Yeah, no, I totally get you. It's I mean, this is all about engagement, right? It's it's hugely important. And then the next thing we see happening a lot, Brandon is I saw it in on the last holiday I was I was on with a family sitting on a next door table. The little kid was on the floor in a bouncer for the entire meal. It was about and then on to drinks after. So I reckon the entire span was about two and a half hours. And then

Brandon (34:17)
Yeah.

That's it. ⁓

Lucia Silver (34:44)
to add insult to injury, you know, no one's casting judgment. It's just, it's just that once you understand you can make some informed choices. This is what this is all about. And this and what happened with this little guy, he, I reckon was, he can't have been more than about at this point, maybe four months. He was handed a screen and the screen sat in front of him and with him just kind of watching it blindly for

Brandon (34:49)
Yeah.

No.

Lucia Silver (35:11)
that entire period and I was like wow that's not even three-dimensional engagement that's now become two-dimensional engagement what's that done to slow down the development?

Brandon (35:18)
Yeah.

Yeah, so a couple things. I love what said. I'm not here. I'm not out to judge anyone or anything like that. I just want to inform people so they can be aware of it because just that awareness will bring people to make these decisions and say, okay, we might need to do this. so putting a screen in front of a baby or a child even is I think one of the worst things you could do. There's a couple things that are going on. First of all, a screen will start to stimulate the left hemisphere instantly.

Lucia Silver (35:34)
That's right, yeah.

Brandon (35:51)
⁓ And so it's switching from right to left stimulation and they are over stimulated with things and they're over stimulated with what's on the screen the colors the sound and everything and it starts to get to the left hemisphere and it's being processed on that left hemisphere Which is a huge leap that's not supposed to turn on until three years old, right? And so people say well is that it's just desensitization then right? It's desensitizing them. It's actually worse than desensitization desensitization for a kid

is if a kid's going and they're, let's say they're 16 years old and they're playing video games, whatever, and they're doing some violent video games, and they're desensitized to it, their circuit's all built, and all of a sudden violence isn't as bad or graphic to them, right, for an adult. But for, when you're doing this for a baby, a baby shouldn't even be exposed to that. It's skipping so many circuits, when, and you're, in fact, I,

Maybe I need to draw on the border sign. But basically there's a top circuit that starts getting stimulated when that's one of the last things to develop. And if you're stimulating that first, that's telling everything else that hasn't developed, you don't even need to develop anymore, right? Because we're already firing. And when this starts to firing in your frontal lobe, especially on the left hemisphere, it'll send a message back to the foundation circuit and say, okay, you guys can regulate and calm down. I'm firing right now.

Lucia Silver (37:03)
you

Brandon (37:17)
So naturally what happens is we hit three years old, four years old, our left brain turns on and it starts to say, okay, we start to learn to talk and communicate and read and all these things a lot better, a lot more. And it starts to regulate and say, okay, good job. We've completed the circuit. We are good now. And then it starts to balance itself out naturally. But with a screen, you're going straight up to that top.

that top part in the left hemisphere of that top cognitive circuit and you're saying, okay, now that we're already firing at four months, we don't need to stop, push, we don't need to develop anymore on this side. It's going to develop, but it's not gonna be as good.

Lucia Silver (37:55)
Wow,

so this is almost, I'm putting it in very simplistic terms, it's that the left brain has kind of come online too early, let's put it that way, it's come online too early. And the left side is much more about, this is what we see with some children with symptoms of autism where they've become super bright, super sequencing, this is where you say February the 13th, 1942, and this little person goes, it was a Tuesday.

Brandon (38:05)
Exactly.

Lucia Silver (38:25)
⁓ those synapses have become in that area way overdeveloped but meanwhile they don't know how to make eye contact and engage because as you said right brain has just gone hey I we didn't really need to develop that because these networks were kind of busy and hey the brain just sees a level of survival we can get by with that so we'll just carry on that way ⁓ meanwhile some vital vital sensitivities and networks haven't been matured

Brandon (38:26)
Yeah.

Exactly.

Exactly

Exactly. so you say the problem is the left brain turns on too early. Why is that a problem? The reason that's a problem is because your right brain is supposed to be on still, which is responsible for that. Like you said, social connections, eye contact, social engagement with the world. That's going to just stop all of sudden. And so every time we put a screen in front of them, it's teaching that baby or the individual that, okay, this stuff isn't as important anymore because the only reason we're doing this is to build this left stuff. But this left stuff is already being activated right now.

with the screen.

Lucia Silver (39:23)
Yeah and

are we already we talk with teenagers about you know the dopamine the dopin emergent you know generation and how the short attention span gets rewarded through these video games through these is that also are we also interfering with dopamine at those early stages and and the sort of stimulatory receptors

Brandon (39:44)
Yeah,

we are. But the interesting thing is for a baby, babies are getting dopamine from the littlest things, from a smile. Babies are getting huge dopamine bursts just from a mama smiling at them, right? And so they're, they're getting dopamine, but it's almost a learned dopamine. So a screen, yes, they're getting dopamine, but at first it's just so new to them. And they're just kind of engaged like, is going on? And this new part is starting to turn online. And it's like, what is this? Like, I do, what is this? And they learn, I like this. And it's telling the other circuit.

You don't need to do don't mean anymore. This is what you're this is why you're even building it, right? So it's yeah screens are no no good

Lucia Silver (40:17)
my goodness.

Big no-no, big no-no. So this is,

we're talking about overstimulation here in a way, aren't we? So this is a big problem in modern baby environments. On the one hand, we've got an understimulation because we need more mama contact, more chief carer contact, more tummy time, more sensory input. But on the other hand, we're actually overstimulating in areas which the brain is, for argument's sake, not ready for yet, or it's vulnerable at this stage. So what can we do then to create a calmer, more supportive,

Brandon (40:48)
Exactly. ⁓

Lucia Silver (40:53)
space? What can we do around this instead?

Brandon (40:58)
Yeah, so avoid screens, obviously, in terms of creating a space. Create a space for the baby. And it's real simple. It's real easy. I talked to parents and parents will tell me, so, no, I gave them a screen last week. I gave them a screen yesterday and I give it to them like once a week. Is that bad? I'm like, I wouldn't give it to them. Giving them a screen one time is not gonna completely destroy the whole circuit, right? It's a learned thing. It's a built thing. ⁓

just

create a space for me. It's real simple. Get a little blanket, get some toys, get some little black and white images of, you know, you can get those little baby boys, get some toys, and just let them play. I mean, we're gonna...

The world is throwing so many tools and technology and equipment at us. Do this, do this, do this, do this. Literally all a baby needs is to lay down on their tummy and play. They learn to move and they learn to play around. They look at things and engage with the world. They need someone to talk to them and engage with them. Mom and caregiver, ideally. And so we say create a safe environment or a place for them. Make sure there's no loud noises, obviously. There's not lights that are too bright, like shining right in their face.

Lucia Silver (41:59)
Yeah.

Brandon (42:11)
Make sure that the music is actually really good for a baby. Soft, calm music, it actually will help soothe their nervous system, get them into a parasympathetic state. actually, studies are showing that it actually teaches them to be able to connect better as they get older. Anyways, cool stuff.

Lucia Silver (42:15)
you

And I can't help feeling that we're slightly projecting our own inner restlessness, the fact that the whole world is moving into a sympathetic dominant state and we think that our children need more and more and more and more and more and we've actually forgotten and I'm not talking about necessarily a baby but I think we're doing it across the board. We've got to keep them stimulated, we've to keep them, we've forgotten about just sort of throwing them in the garden and just get on with it and from boredom comes creativity, from nothing comes something. We all found a way.

Brandon (42:43)
Thank

Yeah, their shoes on.

Lucia Silver (42:59)
of surviving before we had phones, before we had that we just used to make up plays and climb trees and break things, you know, that's what we did when we were little. And same with the babies, right? I remember, in fact, my father's best friend said this about observing babies as a grandparent. And he said, you know why I love babies so much? Because everything for them is a first.

first time they ever saw her.

tree. First time they ever sucked on something sweet. First time they ever saw the mad uncle doing that crazy face. First time they ever heard that noise. And so this idea that this little little little package of yumminess needs any more than, as you say, simple connection, watching nature around, listening to some gentle music. We do not need to give them a screen to keep them amused. And when we

Brandon (43:37)
you

Lucia Silver (43:58)
do we interfere with all the natural the natural circuitry the natural wonderful step-by-step pace that nature intended

Brandon (44:08)
Exactly exactly it's real simple. It's really easy. say moms go home play with your baby move them around and get them out of the bouncer

Lucia Silver (44:17)
Okay, so the power of the parent, right? You're the guide and the goal is really to encourage and empower our parents to trust themselves and stay consistent.

But within this, what would you say to parents who do feel overwhelmed and that are worried that perhaps they're not doing enough? Because I think there's this sort of silent world that we live in as a mum with a little one, and certainly for me as a single mum. How do we know we're doing enough? Are there any indications? Is it as simple as you've said, just keep connection, keep talking, keep moving, keep your voice involved?

Brandon (44:54)
Yeah.

Yeah, what tell moms is first of all, you're doing enough. You're doing amazing. I don't know how moms do it. Honestly, you are doing awesome. First of all. ⁓ The other thing is being consistent is going to be the key. So whatever you start doing, start playing with them, start doing the time and time, the more consistent you can be with that and pulling them out of the bouncer when it's been too long, you know, playing with them, smiling, doing all the things, the more consistent you can be, the better off you will

I do straight up just say don't give him any screens though. Don't do that if you can help it. Zero three months for sure you should be able to help it. ⁓ Don't put him in front of a TV or anything. ⁓ But just you are doing amazing as a mom.

Lucia Silver (45:38)
Yeah, yeah.

Brandon (45:45)
just be consistent with these changes. And even, and the reason I even am doing this and involved in all this is because just bringing this awareness out there will change how we think about it what we're doing. We'll say, okay, now I know that this bouncer, if I leave him in here all day, it's gonna maybe cause a problem, right? If you have to do it for whatever day, like today's a big day, I got all this going on, I've been using the bouncer, we're have to do it again. Okay, next day, just make sure you pull him out, balance it out, don't be consistent.

with that. Be consistent with the good things. Pull them out. Play with them. It's really real simple, real easy. Zero to three months is just a real simple time, but it's not just eating and sleeping. It is smiling and engaging with them and moving them, right?

Lucia Silver (46:30)
yet.

Okay so Brandon this has been incredibly helpful. ⁓ I'm kicking myself under the table. I wish I had had this when I was pregnant really or even considering getting pregnant. But I just want to close with the key takeouts really. If a parent could only do three things in these first critical three months, what would they be? What would you recommend?

Brandon (47:00)
So three things, first tummy time. Gotta do tummy time. It is critical. Skin to skin contact. And I say skin to skin contact. I'm saying skin to skin rocking. They're up against your chest, you're rocking them. And you're helping them to regulate. And then last, just play with them. Make eye contact, talk, play with your baby. Talk to them, you know, move them around. Just play with them. Have fun. It's fun. Babies are fun. I love babies. Play with them.

Lucia Silver (47:28)
⁓ thank you so much. know, listening to this, I realize how far we've come from our original calling. You know, we when we decided to have a family, know, whoever you are, wherever you are in this world, deciding with your partner, whether you're with them or not, wherever you are, you made that decision to have this little person. And actually, this advice is so soulful and beautiful because really all you're being reminded to do is to connect with your little person, to

them close, to talk to them and to play with them. I mean how crazy and wild is it that we've got to a stage now where we need to be reminded of perhaps one of the most joyful things that there is. So please don't feel judged, please don't feel overwhelmed, please just take this in gently and remind yourself of how the simplest of things can have the most critically important outcomes. I'm super grateful for having

having you today, Brandon Kingston, with us. Thank you so much. We will be sharing all the details of Brandon's fantastic Bright Minds Neurodevelopment Center. So you'll be able to hear more all about the work that he and his team do. We'll also be offering you a...

Brilliant guide on baby development from exactly what we've been talking about today with some of the top tips to follow some of the do's and do nots of this critical period in development and as ever if you have found this useful please leave us a review, please subscribe and follow us and please share this podcast episode with other mummers and puppers who may be babe in arms right now and could really do with some support and guidance. Sending lots of love

into your day and thank you Brandon again for joining us on My Mighty Quinn.

Brandon (49:18)
Yeah,

thank you, Lucy. It's been a pleasure. I love it. I love you guys as a team and everything. It's been awesome. I love that you guys are getting it up. Thank you.

Lucia Silver (49:26)
Thank you. Bye for now.