S3 Episode 10: "Mama, Let It Go" - Navigating Modern Motherhood with More Calm and Less Chaos with Dr Hilary Claire

In this beautifully honest and deeply validating episode, I sit down with the remarkable Dr Hilary Claire — clinical psychologist, nutritionist, integrative practitioner, and the author of Mama, Let It Go, The Motherhood Reset, and The Nourished Mama.

Together, we unpack one of the most urgent and misunderstood crises of modern motherhood: maternal burnout — not as a moral failing, not as a personal weakness, but as a physiological, psychological, and cultural collision of pressures no mother was ever meant to endure alone.

Dr Hilary and I explore the real forces draining today’s mothers:  from nutrient depletion, sleep loss and dysregulated nervous systems to toxic expectations, unsupported homes, perfectionism, and the invisible emotional labour women carry every hour of every day.

Most importantly, she shows mothers the path back — not through grand gestures or unrealistic routines, but through micro-shifts, nervous-system repair, nourishment, boundaries, and remembering our own humanity.

Because a calm nervous system is not a luxury, it is the most powerful healing force in your home.

Key Takeaways Include:

• Burnout isn’t “just how motherhood is” — it’s a sign of nutrient depletion, chronic stress, dysregulation, and isolation.
• A dysregulated mother cannot co-regulate a dysregulated child — and this is biology, not blame.
• Simple but powerful nervous-system tools to help mothers shift from survival mode to calm responsiveness.
• Micro-shifts — not overhauls — create sustainable change.
• Setting boundaries begins with mothers valuing their own wellbeing first — not waiting for permission.
• Maternal wellbeing is not separate from child wellbeing — it is the foundation.
• Mothers need support, clarity, and the courage to stop doing it all.
• You do not begin to heal by doing more. You begin by feeling, pausing, and reconnecting with yourself.

Listen now to reclaim your energy, your clarity, and the calm power every child depends on.

Resources

Download the Free Guide

Dr Hilary's Website

Transcript

Lucia Silver (00:00)
So welcome back to my Mighty Quinn, Mother's Conversations with World-Leading Experts. I'm your host, Lucia Silva, mumma to the Mighty Quinn and founder of the Brain Health Movement. And like so many of you, I am a woman who's learning and healing and understanding that that starts with our children and starts also with unlearning everything we were taught about being a good mother.

Because let's be honest, modern motherhood has become a pressure cooker. We're bombarded by what my guest today is calling toxic expectations, outdated societal beliefs, and a culture that celebrates burnout. We're told to bounce back, lean in, and have it all, as if exhaustion was some kind of badge of honour. And we've normalized being praised for sending emails while in labour.

or being back at work by Monday after giving birth. And somehow amidst all that noise, we've forgotten that the calmest nervous system in the home is the most powerful one. That's why today's episode is

called, Mama, Let It Go. And it's actually the title of Dr. Hilary Clare's book, one of three fantastic books that we'll touch on as we go through today's interview.

Most importantly, this is about understanding that letting go isn't a weakness, it's wisdom and how we reclaim our power, reshape the narrative and show our daughters and sons a different way to live and love. So my guest, Dr. Hillary Clare is someone I'm deeply honoured to share with you. She's a clinical psychologist, nutritionist and integrative practitioner whose work, including the book, Mama Let It Go and The Motherhood Reset.

I'm going to show you these books here for anyone watching and The Nourished Mama, they're gorgeous books as well, they look fabulous. But her program, The Motherhood Reset is quite frankly revolutionary and something we all need to be understanding more of. Dr. Hillary helps mothers move from burnout to balance, I call it from kind of guilt to grace and from survival mode back to self and her message aligns perfectly with everything we believe here.

Your nervous system isn't a side note in your child's healing. It's the foundation of it. So if you are tired of running on empty, if you're ready to drop the cape, silence the guilt and start living from a place of calm power, this episode is for you. Dr. Hillary, welcome. I'm so happy to have you here today.

Hilary Claire (02:38)
Thank you. I absolutely love the work that you're doing. I think it's so important for parents, for kids. It's changing so many lives. So I'm honoured to be here talking to you. And that was such a beautiful introduction. Thank you for that.

Lucia Silver (02:54)
Well, there's lots to cover. I'm in the process of enjoying as I tend to do in my ⁓ slightly manic way, all three of your books at the same time. ⁓ Absolutely loving Mama Let It Go at the moment. And there's so many points of departure with this, but I'm going to try and keep it simple as we always say when it's complex, let's keep it simple. And I'd love to just start with your journey, your story and why.

you know, why this work, what first drew you into first of all, combining clinical psychology, nutrition, environmental medicine and mindfulness, give me for mothers and children.

Hilary Claire (03:33)
Yeah, I think I've always seen health as something that is holistic. So I never could understand how we can just look at it from like a one viewpoint. So I always look at anything from multiple perspectives and that can sometimes make it complex, but I think it also is more real because if we only look at things from the psychological perspective, we're missing so much. And if we only look at things from nutrition.

We're also missing so much, so we have to combine it. And like in the work you're doing, you have so many different experts talking about different aspects for healing. It's not just one thing. You don't just work on your primitive reflexes and everything's good. You have to do, you have to look at it holistically. So my story is, I guess way back, I've always been really into health and I started studying nutrition at university. I ended up changing to psychology and followed that.

through, did my PhD. Throughout that, was teaching yoga and group fitness and a personal trainer. that physical health side and the mindfulness side was all there throughout that. And I was working with people. I ran parenting programs. I worked with kids a lot, teenagers, young adults, all sorts of people. And then I became a mom. And I thought it was going to be

It's so ridiculous to say, but I thought it was going to be pretty easy. thought, you know what, I got this. I'm a psychologist. I've worked with parents. I've worked with kids. My husband's, he was training to be a GP. just a year after my son was born, he was fully, fully done. So I thought, oh, we're going to be good. We're going to do this well. And it was just so much harder than I thought it was going to be. I honestly, before becoming a mom, when I look back,

I didn't value mothers or the work that they did. I think that's because of the societal beliefs that were taught, like to not value them. So I had to work through that myself. I worked through postnatal depletion. Like I was just so burnt out, so exhausted. All the things that I didn't think I was going to be in motherhood. And it all hit me. And I realized during that time that

first I felt really alone in it and then I realized this is such a common experience to find motherhood really challenging. And I started to look into why that was. And unfortunately, our society is set up. It isn't there to support mothers. It isn't there to value mothers. It isn't there to prepare mothers. I had never held a baby or changed a diaper before I became a mother, which seems so crazy.

but that's quite normal in our society. We don't see people breastfeeding. It's not just integrated into things. So everything was new and it was a totally different world. And my more perfectionist tendencies really did not help in this case. They can help in some ways to finish the PhD, do well at your job, but not in parenting. They don't fit there. So.

I just realized that this was such a common thing and I started talking to friends about it. I started writing about it and I started shifting my work to support mothers because I realized we need more support in this area and we need to start changing the views and the paradigm that we have around motherhood because it's not helping anybody. It's not helping mothers. It's not helping their kids. It's not helping families or the community of mothers are struggling. Everybody feels that.

If they're thriving, the family does better. They can help out in their community more. So I think so much of our wellbeing as a society starts with mothers. So I don't know if that quite answers your question, but that was just a passion that came for me. And I really started shifting the work that I did to support mothers.

Lucia Silver (07:42)
It absolutely does speak to me and actually it hit me in the stomach hearing you say, don't think I valued what motherhood was. I mean, we were so used to battling against men who they didn't realize what a hard day it is when you're here all day with the kids and they're at work and they come home and they don't realize. But to hear from a mother and absolutely I was the same as well before I.

Hilary Claire (07:51)
Yeah.

Lucia Silver (08:06)
Had Quinn, I had no idea, just like you, no idea what was ahead and how much hard work it was. And I remember even when I was studying ⁓ feminism in literature, kind of being annoyed by a lot of the kind of feminist stuff that I was reading without really giving it its due importance. Until I came across one writer, I think it was a French feminist called Sikso, and she said something like, ⁓

The problem isn't just equal wages, you women being paid the same as men. That really isn't the problem in our society. The problem in our society is we need to view motherhood or raising children as equal to any other career. That's the paradigm shift we need to understand. And I was like, ⁓ that suddenly sounded like profoundly relevant. ⁓

And that's the truth of it, as you say, a thriving home becomes thriving when everyone in it, it's like a delicate ecosystem or a rainforest. Everyone within that part is of equal and intrinsic value. You move one piece and the whole thing falters. So we all have to be thriving.

Hilary Claire (09:18)
Yeah, absolutely. And I think there's a lot of feminism that really helped women. But I know for me and a lot of my friends and even clients that I work with, we felt like we could do it all, all the time. And you can't. We've thought that, OK, we can do what men do. But we still have all the roles and responsibilities of women. We're missing that piece of just valuing what everybody does equally. Motherhood.

work, whatever it is that you're doing, valuing them alongside each other, not just layering on, I can do everything. So I'm going to do it all at once. Like that's just not sustainable and it's not helpful.

Lucia Silver (09:59)
No,

it's not sustainable. And by rising and raising the value of that, we also honour our children because actually a lot of the problems that you and I are supporting families through, whether it's neurodevelopmental delays or just lifestyle changes, these socioeconomic pressures that have in fairness forced some women into work because they can't afford to necessarily stay at home. There are these pressures.

but nonetheless they have had an impact on our children. So, you know, it's a fragile balance all the way around that our children need a caregiver. It's not a nicety to have a parent at home and fully available to them, it's a necessity. And these children, many children are suffering because someone, doesn't have to be the mother, but there needs to be a supported caregiver there, right? So we've got to look at this.

from many, many angles. And in terms of this philosophy of thriving versus surviving, on your site, you say, moms gain energy, confidence, tools, without it becoming another chore. But I'd really like to kind of lean into this with you, Dr. Hillary, because sometimes when somebody says to you, ⁓ just take some time for yourself, and you've got, you know, like three children, you're a single mom, you just want to go, ⁓

F, ⁓ what? Like how? Like how do you make self-care realistic in the messiness of motherhood? Because this is really what you're helping women find their way back to you. And we'll talk about it in lots of different ways, but their best selves, their cantered selves, their reset buttons, you know? And many mothers are just accepting burnout as just part of it. So how do you help them reframe this narrative?

pragmatically speaking.

Hilary Claire (11:53)
Well, there's a lot too, and I wrote three books about it. But I think there's a few things. Like for one, I think we have to change that mindset to prioritize ourselves and recognize that it's not like a nice thing to get to supporting ourselves and our self care after we've done everything else, after we've helped our kids. Because if we are struggling, if we are burnt out, we act from a place of survival. And that is a very selfish,

Lucia Silver (11:56)
Yeah.

Hilary Claire (12:23)
place because we're just trying to survive. Like it's not, we're not trying to be selfish, but we can't be the best version of ourselves and be present for our kids and do the things that they need for them to thrive if we are just surviving. So I think if we can really change our mind around this, that it's not just this nicety, it is essential for us to take care of ourselves. And even when we think about like co-regulation.

If we're surviving, our nervous system is fried. We're either like just in that freeze response and have nothing left to give, or we are in fight or flight and either one is not helpful for our children who are already just trying to navigate their own nervous systems and deal with life and whatever issues it is that they are struggling with. So we need to take care of our nervous system so we can take care of our children's.

And I think as mothers, we have to really, really believe this to start making changes because if it's just for us, we're probably not going to do it because we do have so many things to do. whatever way you can start prioritizing your wellbeing, do it. And I find working with moms, it tends to be because they start to really believe that it's best for their kids. And it is, it's not just believing that like it's true.

Lucia Silver (13:33)
Yeah.

Hilary Claire (13:51)
We can all feel that because when we are, I talked about how we can parent from that survival place and that's not very helpful. When we are thriving and we're feeling good in ourselves and we're healthy, it's so much easier to do all the things that we want to do, right? We're less likely to yell, we're more likely to make like healthy meals for our kids, we're going to help them go to sleep better, we're going to be more patient with them. Everything is just.

easier if we take care of ourselves. It also models to our kids that we are valued, so they value themselves and that they start doing those habits too. And then if we move on from that mindset shift, how do we actually put these new habits into our lives? I think a really key part of that is looking at what you're already doing for your kids. If you're listening to this podcast, you're probably

prioritizing your kids' helping them have a great sleep routine, prioritizing like real nutritious food, taking them to appointments, whether it's with an osteopath or a chiropractor or a nutritionist or on and on and on. Fit yourself into that. If you're getting your kids to sleep by, let's say, 7.30 and you're dimming the lights and you're reading them a story and you're letting them have like an Epsom salt bath,

like integrate yourself into that and do those things with your kids. Get ready with them. Have a calming breath. Do whatever it is that you're doing for your kids at the same time. So it doesn't really feel like you're adding on another thing. You're just eating the food that you serve your kids. You're wanting them to go outside and you're prioritizing movements. So you're going outside and you're prioritizing your movement alongside them. It's actually really great for attachment and connection with your children too, if we can do these things with them.

And even if it's appointments, like I take my kids to an osteopath about once a month or once every six weeks, and I have an appointment. One of us goes and then the other one goes. I find if I take both kids and myself, it's not good for my nervous system, but one at a time I can manage. And it's interesting, like my osteopath, she said that a lot of the time she sees the kids and one of the other practitioners,

sees the mom. So literally at the same time, they're being treated and that is necessary. So if we can just find these ways to do alongside our kids, what we're already doing for them, that can help bring down that overwhelm of making these changes. And then in my second book, I talk a lot about micro shifts. So what can you just change that's ever so slight that is going to help to create

better self care for you or better health outcomes. So instead of waking up early and grabbing your phone while you're making your tea, can you make your tea and just step outside for a minute or like 30 seconds and just get a tiny bit of light of that like morning light in your eyes and on your skin instead of checking the phone and then check it. Like I'm not saying check your phone right away, but it's just about slowly making those little little changes. So

I find that can be really, really helpful. And I don't know if you want me to go into any specifics, but I find if we can just focus on changing our mindset and really valuing our health and our self care, and then shifting our habits to be as aligned as they are with the habits that we're trying to support in our children, that can be just all we need to do. And then that third step of

trying to make those micro shifts as you go throughout your day. And you can even just ask yourself the question, like, what would the more vibrant version of me choose to do in this moment? Or what would that future, like, not burnt out version of me do now? Would they check their phone or would they step outside for that minute? And if we can use that question a few times throughout our day, we can start making those little micro shifts in what we do.

And over time it builds. It doesn't have to be this huge 180 with our life and with our habits, because as much as that could be great, it's totally unrealistic. Nobody's going to do that.

Lucia Silver (18:23)
I so much of what you've said resonates completely for me. And I love the, I love the just sort of almost tag on to what you're doing with your kid. I mean, certainly on our on our course, we advocate doing it all with your child anyway, because so often, like mother like child, we were kind of struck with some of the similar challenges. And so let's just all heal together. And let's not make it all about your kid, because it's highly likely it's about you too. So that speaks volumes, but also ⁓

I was doing a lot of it with Quinn, but I was also, and still do even now, prepare this extraordinary breakfast for him. It's like a banquet. And I very rarely make anything for myself. And I'm still doing that, to be honest. I got to put my hand up to that one. have these intricate smoothies with spirulina and fabulous seeds in them and all these yummy fruits. And it's the easiest thing in the world because it's in a blender and I could just make twice as much.

So it just shows how deeply entrenched that slightly dysfunctional mindset is where I'll just get all this good stuff into my kids gut and that'll set them up for the day. Big tick box. just like, then, and then come sort of 10 o'clock, I'm rushing around trying to get some scrambled eggs in the microwave for myself. And I was thinking, why didn't I do it? It's honestly lunacy. So I hear you loud and clear on that one and I'm going to pick up on that tomorrow for my breakfast altogether.

⁓ And yes, those other things of like the Epsom salt bath and do the same, do the same because it actually then doesn't feel like an added chore, does it? You just, you've already got the Epsom salts. You've put the little leaves to bed. And rather than, I don't know, watching some mindless thing on telly or doing the laundry, just do the bath, do the bath for yourself as well. So I love that. And so important to just begin.

In little we talk about 5 % as well, Dr. Hillary, we talk about how, because you get a little dopamine hit yourself from the rewards of succeeding, you know, we're all a bit like, ⁓ I said I was going to go to the gym five times this week, and then you only go once and then you go, I'm just going to give up because I didn't do it five times. But if you only promised yourself half an hour in the first when you do it, you're like, we love ticking boxes, mums who don't feel enough. We love we love the list, don't we? So, you know, we did it, we did it was just that little thing.

Hilary Claire (20:46)
Yeah, and over time that builds and then you might do that longer or more often because you start to shift your identity to be somebody who does those things. And that's when it really sticks. So yeah, as much as you can make it that micro shift and just like acknowledge yourself and celebrate any little change that you do, that's going to motivate you to keep going. And I want to just say like, I'm not perfect at this either, even though I'm talking about this. Yeah, I often.

sometimes just eat like the scraps from breakfast or things like that. So it's all about just working from where you're at and adding on. And if you fall off with something like just get back to it.

Lucia Silver (21:29)
Yep, and fundamentally changing the mindset is a big piece. That's why we educate. That's why I've made my mission educating, as is part of yours, to explain the science, the necessity of it, not the nicety of it, and that we really can. I have a girlfriend who started open water swimming, and the more that she's become committed to it, she never used to do anything for herself. She was just always about the family. All their needs came first. And the more now she does it, it's like a sacred space. The family have now sort of

moved around to always ensure that mum gets to her cold water swimming her open because it's she's so happy when she does it she feels so much better when she does it and everybody's happy when she does it so now if you say to Isabel can i can i give you a call it no I'm swimming it's not yeah of course I'll okay no I'm swimming it's it's very clear for her it's very clear that clarity comes and the more she does it the better she feels the more she safeguards it

Hilary Claire (22:26)
Yeah, I think the more you take care of yourself, the more you realize that this is so important for you and for those around you. Like that mindset shift often needs to start, at least the seed needs to be planted for you to start making those shifts. But over time, you feel it and you see it. And like your friends, family experienced, they understand it too. And they want that for her. Like my family wants me to go to the gym and they want me to go for my walks. Cause they know that I come back a way better mom.

Lucia Silver (22:47)
Yep.

Yeah, exactly that and more productive too, as well as I've got more energy, I can actually do more for my family. So not selfish in that respect at all. But let's go back a stage because understanding the burnout in itself is tricky, right? So for many of our moms listening now, they're sort of almost, this is a step beyond where they are. You know, in your experience, what are the most common signs that a mother is actually in burnout?

mode but perhaps doesn't realise it yet. And with that, ⁓ Dr. Leary, how do mental and physical and environmental stresses superimpose on that to kind of worsen the burnout?

Hilary Claire (23:34)
Yeah, it's a tricky one because I think it is all those things that you mentioned that cause it and maintain the burnout. So a lot of common symptoms are anxiety, exhaustion, apathy, like low or that up and down mood, feeling tired but wired, like behaviours like snapping at your kids or yelling or just acting in ways that you're like, that's not me. Why am I doing that all the time? Or even often feeling irritable. ⁓

and not taking care of yourselves and not taking care of your kids how you would like to. These are some of the common symptoms. These aren't all of them, but these are some to just look out for. And we have normalized this as like being burnt out is so common. So sometimes mothers will experience this and just think this is just what motherhood is. So we do need to shift that because then you might not get help. You might not seek support or try to make changes if you just see this as this is just how these years are. And after that, I'll get back to normal.

because you may not, you may get stuck in that and it's just not helpful. And there are changes that you can make, but what are causing this and what are maintaining this, like you mentioned, ⁓ so nutrient depletion is a huge part of it. Oftentimes we go through life depleted of nutrients, but then when you go through pregnancy and birthing and postpartum and breastfeeding and everything that comes with having a kid on top of that.

those nutrient depletions can just get bigger and bigger and become more problematic. So that is a massive piece in our culture. A lot of the time we don't set ourselves up with eating the right foods or taking the right supplements before getting pregnant. You just are like, okay, I'm married now or like whatever your situation is, I'm ready to like have a baby. I'm have a baby. But if you look at other cultures and a lot more traditional or ancient cultures, there were specific foods that

parents or soon to be parents would have to build up their nutrients. And then postpartum, they would eat certain foods that were like really, really warm and nutrient dense. So they would replete any lost nutrients. And that is so, so key. So that's like one of the big factors. Definitely all the toxins that are around, whether it's like the weird thing in all the weird ingredients in ultra processed foods.

or it is environmental toxins like the flame retardants in our furniture or ⁓ pesticides that are being sprayed around or maybe are in our water or on our food, ⁓ on and on and on. There's so many things like, know, phthalates that are in anything that is scented or in cleaning products. All these things could burden our bodies and stress it out more and then can further take some of those nutrients out of our system because it...

It takes a lot for our body to process those and get rid of them if we're lucky enough to actually have them leave our body and not kind of get stuck in there. So that can definitely add to the stress of that burnout and add to that nutrient depletion. But there's so many other things in modern day society. Like our food is just low in nutrients. So many people have gut issues. So even if you are eating amazing food,

taking all the right supplements that you need. You may not even be absorbing them. So you're just not getting the qualities from them and therefore you're staying depleted. But then there's like the more mindset aspect as well. So that perfectionism that I mentioned briefly about myself that is very common for mothers who end up burnt out. There's so many beliefs that...

we hold onto unconsciously that we've absorbed from society that just really keep us stuck and keep us burnt out, whether it is that belief that it's really normal and just expected to be burnt out as a mother or whether it is that moms are superheroes and super moms. So ⁓ we as mothers keep trying to like...

get to that status of super mom or if we're there, we try so hard to stay there and either way it's not sustainable and just leads to further burnout. There are so many even like unhelpful identities that we hold onto. ⁓ These can be ones that like society has put on us as women, like being like good girls or this can even be identities that we had before having kids that were just fine that maybe aren't serving us anymore like

say you're a night owl, okay, well, maybe that's fine. You get through life, okay, but you have kids. If you're a night owl, like when are you sleeping then? If you put your kids to bed and you stay up really late, like that identity we have to let go of if we want to sleep better and not be burnt out. There's lots of other identities that ⁓ can keep us stuck. That's just like one example. There's so many things that keep us.

in burnout and lead us to being burnt out. And one that I do really want to mention is just the thing that all mothers and people in the parenting space talk about is that lack of village. Like we're just doing it alone or with very, with very minimal support. So if we can have the support, all the other things are so much easier to put in place. If people are making us meals or helping to take care of our baby in those early days and months.

Lucia Silver (29:01)
you

Hilary Claire (29:17)
We can have better nutrients coming into our body. We can have the space to be calm when we eat them, heal our gut, on and on and on. So that is a massive, massive piece.

Lucia Silver (29:31)
And the first piece, mean, quite often when I'm asked what's the first thing to do, and I'll often say, find your tribe, because I mean, I'm a single mum, so I can speak to that. don't have those people. I've had to seek out that support network because I don't have it with a partner, nor indeed an extended family. I don't have siblings myself and my ailing parents or parents who have passed. So there isn't that network. So yes, I think that big...

kind of flashlight warnings on, you know, how does your terrain look right from the start, as you're saying. But you're also talking about these sort of these are root these are root cause approaches, which we're advocates of as opposed to band aids, because many of these self care or anti burnout protocols focus on things like, you know, have a bath, read a book, do a journal. ⁓

but you're really talking about deeper practices and structural changes and mindset shifts to really disentangle the guilt, you know, the guilt for needing to reset, for needing real regenerative support. So they're big fundamental shifts really. And also understanding that when we're in that burnout, there is a feedback loop, which you talk about, you know, in this interconnection between mama and child.

in emphasizing maternal well-being, we are going to have an effect on our children's regulation. So mum's overwhelm becomes kids' dysregulation, which creates more stress on mum. So, you know, how do we break this? How do we break this, Dr. Hillary? know, which is the intervention point here, you know?

Hilary Claire (31:15)
There's so many different ways that, or so many different causes that make us burnt out and so many different things that maintain that. Like I was just speaking about, and there are other things that were, those were just a few of them. So to come out of that loop is finding whatever is doable and starting there. So if it's shifting what you're eating or getting some blood work done to find out what you're depleted in.

is where you feel like I can start, I could maybe take a supplement if I find out that I'm low in something, then start there. So it's starting wherever you're motivated to start. Because if I say, okay, you have to start with specifically X, Y, Z and do this, that may be unattainable for some people, or it just may seem too overwhelming to do that. So it's starting wherever you're at. Is it working with somebody to look at what your beliefs are that might be holding you back?

Great, start there if that's what you're motivated and interested in and you have the capacity to do. If it is going to bed when your kids go to bed or going to bed 15 minutes earlier than you did yesterday, amazing, start there. So wherever you feel like you can make that shift, that's your starting place. And then layer on from there. If you're starting to go to bed a little bit earlier for a couple of weeks, then reassess and come back and say, okay, what would...

that thriving version of me do next? What's something else that she has built into her life that I'm not doing yet? Maybe your example, she's starting to eat that breakfast. She's starting to have that smoothie with her child. Great, let's add that in. And then once that becomes a habit, let's move on to the next thing in a few weeks, reassess and ask that question again. Okay, what is that thriving version of me doing that I'm not doing now? Maybe she is going outside with her tea in the morning.

putting her feet on the ground, taking a couple breaths. And she's literally standing out there for three minutes before everybody else wakes up. Amazing, start doing that. So layer on and on and on. And those are just examples, but ⁓ different starting points that people can start thinking about are looking at what you're eating. Like how can you bring in a lot more nutrient dense food? When I work with clients, one of the things I really advocate for is meat stock. where can you...

if they're not vegetarian or vegan, where can you bring in just more ⁓ chicken broth into your child and your life? So that could be something that can be really easy that you just like cook your rice in it, or you use it for the base of soups or anything, or you just sip it in the afternoon, or like I'm having a hot cocoa with some chicken stock in it right now. It sounds weird, but it's delicious.

Lucia Silver (34:04)
Okay.

Hilary Claire (34:06)
So just like, where can you add in some nutrient dense food? Starting there, the sleep. How can you set up your evening so you're more prepared for sleep? So your body recognizes that sleep is going to come, your hormones are prepared for that. Maybe it's turning off all overhead lights and getting used to just using a couple lamps or red lights in the evening. ⁓ Getting outside more.

like getting more movement. Like these are real basic things that we all know about. And then if you feel like you have those foundations, you can move on or start here, it doesn't matter, but things like working specifically on your nervous system. teaching yourself ways to regulate your nervous system and come back into that calm parasympathetic nervous system state.

when you are not feeling overwhelmed. So then when you are feeling overwhelmed, you can use those as well. But the more you can do things like that, like one I love is just putting my hand on my heart or on my chest and just taking one breath and just telling myself like, you're safe. Cause so much of the time we are in that state of I'm not safe, whether I'm in fight or flight or that free state. So just.

using that top-down approach by telling yourself I'm safe and that more bottom-up approach of like that physical contact of your hand on your heart or on your chest can help you calm your nervous system in that moment. So that's something that can be like a really quick thing to start adding into your days and just practicing it when you're feeling pretty like okay and then start practicing it when you're starting to feel like

you're getting out of that comfortable phase and or that comfortable state. So maybe you're starting to feel a bit irritated or a little bit stressed. Practice it then and then you can use it more likely when you are feeling more amped up. So other really helpful nervous system specific approaches are other ways to use your breath like breathing in through your nose for just less time than you breathe out. So I

like to do count in of four and then breathe out either through your nose or through your mouth for a count of six. And again, that can just be something that you can sprinkle throughout your day to just help your nervous system to come back to that resting state where we generally want to spend more of our, like quite a bit of our time. And it doesn't take much time. So if you are feeling burnt out, like these little nervous system practices can

They can seem like nothing, but they are so quick and they really do help you to train your nervous system and make it more flexible. And that can really help shift you out of burnout. It's not going to be the only thing we have to work on this holistically and see what is really affecting you. If it is a nutrients, well, that's something you really have to at some point address. But for a lot of people, it is just their nervous system just feels like so dysregulated. So starting there can be really, really helpful.

few other strategies that can be, can feel doable in the moment, especially when you are just exhausted and burnt out or like singing or humming or like swaying side to side when you're standing up. These are soothing things for our nervous system and really helpful, just little things again to add in to, to help yourself come back to that calm place. And the more often that we can come back to that calm space.

the more our bodies can rest. So then we don't get further and further exhausted and burnt out. And yeah, I could go on with different strategies, but that gives people, hopefully gives a starting point of like, what out of those can I start doing today? And then just start and start layering them in so they just become automatic and you don't even think about them.

Lucia Silver (38:18)
Absolutely, and so helpful. I think sometimes if we don't think there is anything we can do, we just follow the same course that we always follow. So by just knowing, I know for me doing that little bit of breathing, it's an intervention now. I know that when I'm starting to feel that feeling, it's like neuroplastic, it's like programmed to me now, just I'll go into the, we eat in the room next door to the kitchen. And if I'm feeling wound up, I go into the kitchen now and I do the breathing and then I can come back into the room next door and I'm calm again. So

It really is those little marginals. ⁓ So it's understanding that there are things you can do. It's recognizing in your own body when those things are happening. It's the mindset. So that's what we're kind of covering at the moment. Then there is also this area of kind of boundaries and permission, which I want to touch on because I think sometimes I even feel I kind of have to

permission or Quinn's just going to demand something of me and I'm not going to be able to find that space to do it. So ⁓ as I said with Isabelle, she's done it successfully with her cold water swimming. But how do you coach mothers to set the boundaries in the first place with family or work or we've talked about culture expectations, you know, at a large but really in it at the cold face at home because many mothers feel selfish for prioritizing self care as we've said and

need to have almost like a little bit of a script or some support with the communication in the first place. Can you offer anything in that area? If mothers feel, I couldn't possibly tell the family I'm going to do this or tell my son I need to be here rather than here.

Hilary Claire (39:57)
think boundaries start with you. So it's hard to force other people to do anything. We don't have control over how they respond or what they ask of us. But what we have control over is what we do. boundaries really start with us. So if we know, OK, I'm going for the swim like your friend, and this is important to me, it's her doing that and knowing it's OK for me to do this, and I will be back.

for my family and I'll be supportive after that and I will be a better mom after that. So it starts with her knowing in herself like why she's doing it and her just deciding that this is what she's doing for herself. And then it is helpful to communicate these things so people aren't like confused with like, well, where did mom just go or something, right? Like she's out swimming, what? So I think it is important to have those conversations with your kids depending on how old they are.

Lucia Silver (40:41)
Yeah, she's good.

Hilary Claire (40:50)
but you can have it in a developmentally appropriate way, even if they are young, having those conversations with partners, with family, with whoever it is that is needing your support and is finding it hard that you're suddenly prioritizing yourself. Have those conversations with them when you're both in a more calm state. So not like right before when you're rushing out for your swim, you're almost late for it and trying to explain it then. It's having like, exactly. Yeah.

Lucia Silver (41:13)
Yeah, I hate you all, I'm going swimming.

Hilary Claire (41:18)
Yeah. And I mean, that might happen, but then coming back and having the conversation after and be like, look, that is not exactly what I meant, but I was feeling really stressed. And yeah, and saying sorry, right? Like rupture and repair, that is what happens in relationships and that's okay. But yeah, having that conversation and letting them know like why you're doing it and why it's so important to you and how it benefits them is really helpful to get them to have buy-in and

Lucia Silver (41:26)
you

Hilary Claire (41:47)
Ask them, like, let's use this as an experiment. See how I am when I come back from the swim. I'm probably going to be a lot more playful with you if you're talking to your kids and a lot more attentive and we can, you know, we'll have lots of hugs and stuff or whatever. And then let them actually experience that. And over time, pretty quickly probably they'll realize like, yeah, this is really important and this is really actually helpful for me too.

So having those conversations can be really useful, but sometimes you don't have to say much. Sometimes we can over explain ourselves because we don't feel like we should be doing this and we don't have that buy-in that like this is important for us to do. So it really does start with deciding for yourself and knowing for yourself like why you are doing it. And once you have that buy-in, it's so easy to have that conversation with anybody else.

Lucia Silver (42:45)
I think everyone picks up on your energy, you know, that's the kind of authentic, even physiological truth of it. I know when I'm over talking with Quinn and I'll say, know, mummy needs to have a bath and he'll go, why are you speaking third person? Mummy needs a...

Anyway, you're not mummy, you're mum and just go and have a bath. You know, and I'm thinking he's so right. I mean, it's me overcompensating that I'm going to be gone for it. This is all my bullshit, not his. So just do it. And that, as you say, that clarity and confidence speaks volumes and the proof's in the pudding. You're relaxed afterwards, you're more fun, you're smiling, you're and everyone else's probably didn't really notice you were gone and it was absolutely fine.

Hilary Claire (43:14)
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, I think a lot of the time we worry that like, no, people are going to want me. I can't do this because of this. I can't do this because my kids, I can't do this because my partner won't want me to. It's like, my husband is so grateful when I go and like I do my exercise or I get outside. Like he's like pushing me to do it sometimes, right? It's not, it's so it's in our hands. It's like we have to change that mindset. Sometimes there is that shift for other people around us, but most of the time, if we do that work for ourselves, the other stuff is easy or we

Lucia Silver (43:42)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Yes.

Hilary Claire (43:59)
don't even have to go there and do it.

Lucia Silver (44:01)
100 % and also when we haven't spoken about it and it's for another podcast, but when you occupy the space all the time, no one does move in to do the washing up, do the dinner instead, clean the bathroom, pick the towels up off the floor. So that's a whole other argument, but it's a it's a good one to just get out of your own way and let some other people fill the space. ⁓ Back to back to another pragmatic thing. So that's that we've covered a little bit about how we can communicate and what's important in terms of creating those boundaries. ⁓

Hilary Claire (44:19)
100%.

Lucia Silver (44:30)
Let's look at some of the, you mentioned nutrition a few times and a little bit of detox and environmental stuff. And since you are so invaluable to us because you integrate the environmental medical nutritional side as well, what might be for a mama just beginning on this, say three low hanging fruit changes that a burnt out mom could look at with diet, toxin exposure, supplements, or just a little something to support her resilience at baseline.

Hilary Claire (44:59)
Yeah, I think it is useful to find out what you are low in. So I did mention like getting blood work is an option. And I think that doesn't, it's hard to get blood work to find out every nutrient that you might be low in or depleted in. But I think it is a good starting point because you don't want to be taking iron because a of moms are low in iron and realize that that isn't something that you need. So I think starting there can be good to just give you some direction and it can simplify things.

Lucia Silver (45:04)
Yes.

Hilary Claire (45:25)
to just know, I just need one or two of these and I'm good. So that's a good place to start. ⁓ Another good place is, and I guess with that, like just a few of the vitamins and nutrients that moms tend to be low in are like omega-3s and zinc and iron and selenium and B vitamins and magnesium. Those are a few of, it's quite a few, but those are a few of the ones that moms really do tend to be low in. So.

those are good starting places. food wise, I think it's really helpful. did mention like meat stocks, that's such a good way to help heal your gut. And so you can absorb foods better and all the nutrients that you eat. as well as ⁓ there's lots of great nutrients in them, in it. So that's a really good starting place. You can buy one, you can make it, whatever you do. Like that's just a really, really good starting place.

trying to increase nutrient dense foods of any sort can be really good. And I find like eating, it depends on the season, but generally if you are depleted, eating warmer foods can be really helpful. like stews or soups, anything like that can be really like risottos, things like that can be really helpful to help get lots of good nutrients in and support your body sometimes.

like the cold foods like the smoothies or the salads or like a lot of raw vegetables might not be what your body needs if you are in a really depleted state.

And with that, something I like to do to make it easier is I will, when I'm feeling motivated, I'll make a few things at one time and lots of it. And then I have a deep freeze, which is if you don't have one, it's life-changing if you get a big freezer. Cause then half of the week, I don't even have to cook. just pick out which soup I want to have for dinner, maybe put something with it or not even. And suddenly the meal's done. So that helps like practically on a day-to-day basis.

but also nutritionally because you have such good nutrient dense foods or even buying it. Like if you know at your farmer's market or at the shops, there's great options out there, buy those and have them on hand so you can quickly grab them so you're getting really good nutrients in and those warming foods and things like, you're depending on what's happening with your gut microbiome, but generally if you can.

have a little bit of a fermented food like sauerkraut or kimchi. Depending on the type, like how things are pickled, some like pickled ⁓ vegetables can be really good too. Like the more fermented ones, not the ones in vinegar. Those can be really good for your gut as well. And for the microbiome, but just if you're not used to eating these, just start with a small amount and work your way up. So those are really good things with nutrients and food.

And then when it comes to like environmental toxins, don't use perfume. If it's not freezing outside, open your windows as much as you can. Air laundry outside so it can, like, just get fresh air and sunlight on it. And ⁓ yeah, with cleaning products, like use really, really simple things. There's nothing with scents in them or weird like...

ingredients. I use really basic things like most of the time if you have baking soda and you have vinegar you can clean your house so you don't need much when it comes to that. I think we're sold that you need a different product for every room of the house and then people have like tons of yucky things in their cupboards that they're smelling all the time that are just not helpful they're just stressing the body so if you can just reduce that or find like a really

like good quality, like eco-friendly cleaning product that will pretty much do your whole house. Like just stick with that. And also...

When it comes to like skincare or like personal care products, getting things that don't have the scents in them is a really great place to start. And then start when something runs out, just research it and see if you can find a product that is a little bit better, that has less of like the phthalates in it, the scents in it and all that garbage.

is really good. It's not that you have to like throw up. Some people do they go through their covers, they throw everything out and they start again. If that's you like and you love doing that, like go for that. But other people it's easier if you just like go through something you're done with it and then you go on research and find a new product. There's great websites that you can go to or apps like there's EWG they have a good app that you can look at products. And I have an app on my phone called chemical maze and you can look up different ingredients if

because a lot of the time you look at food or ⁓ cleaning products or personal care products and you're like, what even are these ingredients? You can look them up to see like what effect they have on your health and if they are like safe or questionable or like definitely not good. So that can be really helpful to have on hand when you're learning and you're trying to shift the products that you're bringing into your house. So those are a few ways, but yeah, it can be really simple.

open up your windows. one thing I forgot to mention that is so simple is like, just take your shoes off when you get in the house. Have slippers or indoor shoes or just go barefoot. Like we can bring in so much stuff from outside, whether it's pesticides, you know, we're stepping in like gasoline or when we're filling up our car or like whatever else is out there, it can come in and it's just, you just have to clean up.

that more and it ends up getting throughout your house, end up breathing it in. It's not helpful, especially if you've like little kids that might be crawling around. You don't want that coming in. So simple things like opening up your windows more, getting outside more, like leaving your shoes at the door. If you just start with those, you're just supporting your body to be healthier and not have to have the strain of going through detoxing all the things out of your system.

Lucia Silver (51:45)
Wow, that was fantastic. That's just an absolute goldmine of information there. Thank you. ⁓ We love a case study. We love a story of a person. We speak a lot of science, a lot of things we can do and things we can say and things we shouldn't do. And actually, sometimes it's just really lovely, Dr. Hillary, to hear about other people who have, you know, I think that's why my little, not my little, my big story with Quinn has been

so helpful for families listening because they've followed our journey and they've heard what we've done and they've seen and witnessed the transformation. ⁓ I just wondered if there was something that you might like to share in terms of a client story where a mum was on the brink as we've been saying and has made some shifts in self-care and mindset, had a breakthrough for herself and maybe her child too and what was the turning point in that story that shifted and made the difference?

Hilary Claire (52:44)
Yeah, I think for everybody, can be like the turning point can be different and the things that really help can be different. But ⁓ a client that I'm thinking of now is we first just started getting clear on what her values were and getting clear on what she needed. Because so many times as I think as women in general.

But especially as moms, we lose touch with what we need and we're so focused on being there for other people that we have no idea what we even need. So for her, like asking herself throughout the day, okay, what is it that I need in this situation? And checking in with that and taking a moment was so helpful for her to just make little changes. Like she realized, I'm thirsty now. like one thing for her was at the end of the day,

when her kids came home from school and day-care, that hour before dinner was so challenging for her. But for so long, she didn't do anything about it. She just thought, OK, I'm here. I'm part of this. But when she started checking in with her own needs and how she was feeling in different moments, she realized that is when she needs to take a break. So she would tell her, she started telling her husband.

I need like 10 minutes here. And first it just started with her like sitting in the bathroom, like taking a few deep breaths. And then she got more comfortable with it, prioritizing herself and not being present with her family at that time. That she'd go and sit outside in her hammock for 10 to 15 minutes. Sometimes one of her kids would come out, but usually she was, she really just needed that time. And just that simple shift of like getting clear on what she was feeling. She was feeling so overstimulated.

so overwhelmed and knowing that she needed just some space by herself and then realizing that space by herself, she needed a little bit of movement and outdoors. So she took herself outside to the hammock. That was all she needed to do to really shift that dynamic for the whole rest of the evening.

So it can be something small like that, but getting clear on what you're feeling and what those feelings are telling you about what you need can be so, so impactful. I mean, we did other things together, but that was just something that was really, really helpful. And she started to really change her mindset about her taking care of herself and her taking care of her own nervous system, because one of her kids was quite, his,

nervous system was really sensitive and could easily get dysregulated. because she was getting really aware of what she was feeling and what she needed, she'd started to see how she was impacting his nervous system. So she started working on her own and by prioritizing herself, by removing her from herself from situations temporarily to just breathe for her to like, before she got home from work.

She would like go for a little walk on the beach for a few minutes just to like reset before coming home. So she showed up in this way where she could co-regulate a lot better with her child just by implementing a few different things. It wasn't a total overhaul, but having that awareness of what she needs and changing her mindset around, like it's so important for her to take care of herself, for herself and her kids, started to make all those other changes. And then from there,

It layered on, she started going to more yoga classes and on and on, but it started with little changes. So I think that's really important for listeners to hear that it doesn't have to be, she went to a retreat for 10 days and then came back and everything was good.

Lucia Silver (56:30)
Yeah.

Yeah. And it's that beautiful intersection between maternal wellbeing and whole child healing that we're talking about all the time. ⁓ So for mommas listening, Dr. Hillary, ⁓ if there was something that you would say today to begin reclaiming their energy and joy, ⁓

understanding the common roadblocks that you see mothers getting stuck with and trying to implement these shifts and moving through them. What would it be? What would you say?

Hilary Claire (57:06)
Ooh, that can be tricky because sometimes we lose touch with what does bring us joy when we are feeling so burnt out. I know for myself, when I was really in the depths of burnout, I had no sense of humour. Like nothing was funny and I could just not be funny myself. So I used humour and the ability to play and feel joy as a bit of a barometer for like, how am I going right now? So I...

Lucia Silver (57:22)
Thank

Hilary Claire (57:32)
I even think like maybe bring down the expectation of feeling joy, like just do something that is going to help you feel nourished and calm. And if joy is part of that, that's amazing.

Lucia Silver (57:41)
feel about something that

just makes you feel. I'm sorry to interrupt you, I was just thinking when I was in that space, yeah, you're right, you know, it's not about funny and joy, it just makes you feel even more depressed because you can't access those feelings. So how about we get you somewhere where you can feel something.

Hilary Claire (57:45)
Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. If you can go throughout your day and check in and ask yourself, how am I feeling? That can be so helpful to help shift things because once you get used to checking in, once we label how we're feeling, whatever it is that we're feeling comes down in intensity just a little bit. If you feel overwhelmed and you're like, well, a part of me is feeling overwhelmed right now. Okay.

that suddenly that labelling of it is just enough to create a little bit of space between you and that. And I think that that can be a really good starting point for all of us, especially moms, but I think everybody could work on this skill. And then if you could take it one step further, it's asking yourself, okay, well, what is this? Like, why am I feeling this? What is this emotion here to tell me? Because when we feel things like overwhelmed or we're feeling stressed or

exhausted. Sometimes we just fight it. We're like, I hate this. I'm always tired. I'm always stressed. Like why? I don't want to be this way. Push it away. Push it away. But if we can ask, okay, why am I? Why am I feeling really tired right now? Or why am I feeling so stressed? What is it that I need? If you can ask those questions of yourself, you can start to learn from your emotions and not fight them so much, which is exhausting to do. I don't recommend it.

and you can start doing things that can support you. So maybe it's like, ⁓ what do I need if I'm feeling so stressed? I need to have an adult conversation right now. Like I'm just missing adult connection. Great. Well, then that's giving you something tangible that you might not be able to do right in that moment, but you're starting to check in with yourself and understand what's going on in your own body and your mind.

And then in time, you can start to implement those things rather than just become reactive. Like, I'm feeling so stressed, I'm feeling overwhelmed and everything's bothering me and your kid does something, they don't brush their hair and you lose it. It's not about the hair brushing. It's because you aren't connecting with how you're feeling in other times, meeting your own needs in other times that it all builds up and it becomes too much. And I think the more we can do that, we can notice the times where I'm feeling some joy. And then...

ask yourself, why? Like what in this moment is bringing me joy? And maybe it's cuddling your kid or watching a funny movie or whatever, but that can help you to get more in touch with the joy. And then you can bring more of whatever that is into your life.

Lucia Silver (1:00:38)
I love that what you've said there is not necessarily doing anything. It's actually just stopping and feeling, know, stopping and acknowledging, stopping and just, because I think most of the time it's a rush. Like when you and I first started our conversation today, we were just like, it's just breathless. You know, and then when someone says, how are you? Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine. And you're like, actually, this is a person who's really asking me, how am I? am I? How am I? How am I? Can I feel in my body? How am I? You know, it's, a

It's an exercise because we become very detached, very, yeah, we're sort of disenfranchised from ourselves. And so part of this journey is coming back into our centres. Yeah, it's not always something to do. What can I do, says a mum? What more can I do?

And looking back,

Hilary Claire (1:01:27)
Hmm. And it's not necessarily

easy to do this. Like it's hard to have that pause and to check in. And often we are feeling things that we don't necessarily want to feel. So it can feel a bit uncomfortable doing so, but over time you quickly realize it's easier to do that. And it's better to do that than the alternative of just reacting from that place. And we could model this to our kids. We can even talk it out loud. Like that can be easy. It can be like, okay, mommy is what am I feeling in this moment? I'm feeling.

I'm feeling really overwhelmed. And why am I feeling overwhelmed? I'm feeling overwhelmed because my day has just been going from this to that to this to that and nobody slept well last night. And what do I need? You know what I need? I need to sit down and I just need to like take a breath. Do you guys want to do that with me? Like you can do it with your kids rather than this all be like secret. So you're doing it separate from your kids. Teach your kids, show them like, whoa, mom has big emotions too, but she's finding ways to figure out what's how to.

Lucia Silver (1:02:10)
Mmm.

Hilary Claire (1:02:25)
move through them in a helpful way. And then if your kids learn these skills, well, that makes life easier too, doesn't it?

Lucia Silver (1:02:32)
100%. And as you say, I feel much more responsible than if I'm modelling bad behaviour, I might find it difficult to address it for myself. But if I think, my lordy lord, I'm Quinn, busy, you know, mindless busyness running around getting stressed for that, that's what I'm modelling for him. So I need to stop that, because that's not good modelling. That'll stop me in ⁓

Hilary Claire (1:02:55)
Yeah.

Lucia Silver (1:02:58)
So once again, you know, if you can be convinced of the science and of the goodness of what addressing your behaviour can do for your child, that's a very positive trigger for a lot of mums, I think. ⁓ So looking ahead, this is a great legacy. And as you've said in your books, you know, this is about consciously changing narrative, changing mindset. ⁓ What is your vision for motherhood transformation? Big, big, big old question, but where do you hope?

The cultural narrative goes in the next decade. How would you like to see motherhood being framed?

Hilary Claire (1:03:33)
would like motherhood to be valued by our society and we can wait for that and we can hope for that to happen from like, you know, systemic like places and from our governments with different policies. But I think if we start valuing ourselves as mothers and we start valuing the work that we're doing and having these sort of conversations and valuing each other's work as mothers, I think that that's a really

important place for it to start because our children will see that and they will value what we do. And then when they become parents, like hopefully they don't have to work through what we're working through. So I think, yeah, it starts with us. And ultimately I would love to see mothers to be valued by themselves and by others and like by society at large.

Lucia Silver (1:04:29)
Amen to that. Dr. Hillary, you've got a wonderful canon of work. I've mentioned the three fabulous books and I know you have another book on its way about picky eating and we're going to have you back on the podcast to discuss that too. We'll be sharing all of these wonderful resources in our show notes. I just wanted to ask you if there were any projects that you're particularly excited about that mothers should watch out for? You might even want to mention the picky eating.

focus in itself, please share with us if there's anything else that we can spotlight for you now for our parents.

Hilary Claire (1:05:08)
Yeah, I guess there's two things. The picky eating book. Right now I have a ebook that goes over reasons, more like root cause reasons for picky eating and what we can start doing about them right now. And soon there will be a full book about this. So looking again, like at all the root causes, like why are kids picky from looking at like primitive reflexes to nutrient depletion to dysregulated nervous systems on and on and on, and then how we can

work through nutrition, through environment, through parents mindset and practically what we can do to help our kids to be really healthy, adventurous eaters and ultimately be healthier because of it. And then the second thing is that I have a podcast myself, which you are on. I can't wait for that episode to come out next week actually. yeah, so my podcast is called Wild and Well and it has conversations that I have with incredible people.

about how we can support ourselves to be healthy and vital as mothers, but also how we can do the same for our kids. So I have parenting experts, brain health experts, lots of naturopaths and nutritionists, psychologists, doctors, osteopaths, lots of different people on to give their perspective. And it's just like an incredible resource for parents to start.

making steps to improve their health and resilience of themselves and their children.

Lucia Silver (1:06:42)
Fantastic.

thank you so much, Dr. Hillary. This has been pure gold. I knew it would be. I've taken so many notes myself on this one. I think what I love most ⁓ to the moms listening now and our parents and clinicians listening also, what I love most about Dr. Hillary's work and why I wanted to share her voice here is that she reminds us that motherhood was never meant to be like a solo endurance sport. know, we need to...

dismantle the super mum myth and replace it with the idea that mothers can take care of themselves alongside their children. And I'm really saying this to myself now, you you don't earn your worth by running yourself into the ground and your child doesn't heal faster because you suffer harder. There's some very strange correlation, dysfunctional correlation that's gone on in our minds with this. And the truth, as Dr. Hillary says, so beautifully is that when we regulate, we repair.

And when we restore our own energies, we create the safety that our children need to truly thrive. So if today's episode spoke to you, go and explore the motherhood reset further and all of Dr. Hillary's wonderful work. I'll link everything in the show notes. And together with Dr. Hillary, we're also going to be offering a meditational sheet, some guidance really to enable you to...

Begin some of this reset work to find that place back in your most centred best self. As we touched on in the podcast today, you there are many moments where we don't actually even know what we're feeling, what we need, what we want. And we need some assistance to find our way back and breath work and meditation can be really fantastic at facilitating that pathway home. So until next time, take a moment for yourself today, even one quiet breath because you matter just as much as the child you're fighting for.